Monday, November 15, 2010

hi

hey guys. new blog. notdeadjustmarried.blogspot.com go there not here. kthanks.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

family honor

A mercer: (occupation) is a merchant or trader, more specifically a merchant who deals in textiles / mercer

It means a great deal to be a Mercer, and I will be sad to give it up. BUT, I am also excited to gain a new last name. ali jarman. weird.

nevertheless, I will miss my last name...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

stupid

thank you rain for coming on the day of my bridals. sooooo not happy with you. something good better happen or i'm going to turn full fledged bridezilla. no one wants to see that.

:( :( :( :( :(

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

like i even know

so for some reason fantasy has been on my mind lately. actually i do know why... i have been reading a ton of fantasy and sci-fi stuff in my classes lately. annnnnyway. i watched harry potter last night, and i forced warner to watch the twilight movies for cultural reasons (i seriously think its important to have seen them because thats all people talk about, and you have to be able to get the jokes. haaa), we even had presentations in my classes on J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkien on the same day. a girl in my class even made butter beer--for real, it was pretty cool. im just wondering what draws people into these stories and books. i mean, as much as i would like to say i hate twilight and the vampire following cult... i read two of the books, and i love the show Vampire Diaries with a passion. then there is my friend anna who believes she is in fact a wizard and that her parents threw away her letter from Hogwarts. i think i just wanted to talk about this... i don't really have a conclusion. just please tell me i'm not the only person who wonders why people love this stuff, including why i do..?

ps. i made a goblet of fire last night for my class.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

b of h

i wish so much that right now i could be telling tales of how amazing Band of Horses was last night (which im positive they were), but instead i'm telling the story of why i missed them.

you see warner and i were in the third row of the venue last night patiently waiting for b of h to come on... we watched the first band (funniest drummer ever, seriously the epideme of an open mouth, drum playing doofus) so that was fun. then the second band came on, they looked like backstage workers, but thats beside the point. i started to feel a little woozy during this band, and i knew i should sit down but i refused to give up the awesome spot we had, and i was actually enjoying fighting off some idiot girls that tried to steal it. so i toughed it out for a few minutes, then i started to sway around in circles and i knew i had to say something to warner.

"i feel sick... i think im going to pass out"

warner said let's go immediately after. we started walking out and my eyes shut, i couldn't open them if i had to in order to save my life. i was holding on to warners back and then my feet began to shuffle and i was dragging behind him. (i was out of it but apparently he carried me about twenty feet out of the crowd) this is the point where my hearing went weird and all i could hear was echoes. "can i get some help" i heard from a voice that sounded like warners, and then next thing i knew i was on the ground, someone was checking if i was breathing and i was trying to open my eyes with everything i had. finally i got them open and there were people all around me, some girl was asking what i had been drinking, or if i was on drugs. haa. that seriously is laughable. but at least then i would have had a reason to pass out.

the girl got me water, warner was like craddling me, and i was not worried at all about the fact that i was laying on the most disgusting floor there ever was. luckily the only injury i got was from some idiot that stepped on my knee, other than that im perfectly fine, and after about an hour i was in tip top shape all together. weirdest experience. oh and we totally ditched the ambulance that was called for me... is that awful? i didnt want to pay for it! but the saddest part about this whole thing is that we missed band of horses. that is seriously the worst part about it all... i feel so awful for ruining warner's great present too. so i will now leave you with a little taste of what everyone should have been able to experience last night.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

bridezilla

little did i know that it was so natural to become a bridezilla once you are planning a wedding. i have tried to restrain myself, but when it comes to all things wedding i become a different person. i turn a little green, my biceps grow a lot and it even rips the sleeves off my shirt--it's an interesting experience. regardless, i think someone should invent a medication for diagnosed bridezilla's. (don't worry, i have yet to get as bad as those brides on the WETV show "bridezillas" i love so much)

in other news... fall is here! i am totally loving it. as all of you are i am sure. also, today is an extra best day because warner is a sweetheart and got us tickets to see band of horses. i am out of my mind excited, best band.



if i get like this around you i give you full permission to slap me across the face

Thursday, September 9, 2010

yay yay yeah!

we got our engagements the other day! who knew they could be so fun? our photographer is rebekah westover and i couldnt be more excited! my one request with this whole wedding business was that we could have rebekah do our photographs. karla made it happen, thank you, thank you! it was a beautiful day, and hopefully warner and i didn't cast too many fake smiles.

all i do these days besides plan this wedding is read. i guess thats what i get for choosing to be an english major. woooo. im still trying to recover after reading go ask alice in my adolescent lit class. worst.

lastly.. i have a newfound love for blogs. i entered a giveaway (i never enter these cause i have the worst luck ever) and i WON! thank you the cinderella project for the 150 dollar gift card to williams sonoma. now i just have to decide what to get!

things are good and great. here is just a happy photo.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

annoying

dont you guys hate when people brag about how great their lives are? well im gonna do that right now... so if you dont like it then stop reading. k but really i just feel like the luckiest girl--to get the best boy there is. everything pertaining to the wedding is starting to fall into place, and that is the best thing i could ever ask for. (special thanks to karla) we even found a place to live, a very small space, but the rent cannot be beaten. in case you were wondering i still have those bumps on my shin... but im starting to get used to them, like they are a part of me. i might be a little sad to see them go, if they ever decide to.
school started. i debated writing all the things i hate about school and uvu, but i think ill skip that for this time. except i will talk about how annoying english majors are. there cannot be a worse group of "know it alls". seriously. i also wont forget to mention how i avoided all contact with math for 5 years, but i couldnt keep it in the closet forever, and now its very much a part of my life. an hour and a half of math every monday, tuesday and thursday should make for an interesting semester filled with hate and negative feelings. BUT a plus side to school is that warner and i found some notebook paper made from STONE. it is honestly made from stone, no trees were killed for it. the writing experience is spectacular.
has anyone else noticed that wingers is not as good as it used to be? i sure have.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

en-gag-ed

so this probably doesnt come as a surprise to many people but warner and i are engaged!! its very cliche... but i can honestly say it was worth the wait. we have known each other and been friends since 8th grade. we became best friends in high school, and started to date our senior year. its been a roller coaster ever since, and i suppose you could say we have been dating on and off for five years. warner is an incredible boy-i have never met anyone like him, and i know i never will. you guys that read this probably wanna know how he asked me... so here it goes. no he didn't do any of that generic romantic crap like put the ring in a drink, or in my pasta... he didn't spell out "will you marry me" in different kinds of food, and he didnt take me up in some hot air balloon. (if these things happened to you please don't take offense, it just is not my style at all) he took me to the park where we first held hands... where we first said i love you... where we first saw each other after two years of being apart. it was fitting thats for sure. he did an amazing job, told me the nicest things, and he even got on one knee. he asked, and i said yes. he also got me the exact ring i wanted made for me... it couldnt be more perfect. so there you go, i would take this engagement over accidentally swallowing my ring any day. i love you warner, cannot wait until october 22nd.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

mystery bumps

so some of you may know that i have been sick for like a week and a half. weirdest mixture of symptoms ever. throat, chest, back pain, throwing up, fever, headache, congestion... and now i have mystery bumps on my right shin! not only one... or two... but three! i went to the doctor today, and of course he gave me antibiotics. they always give me antibiotics. anyways... the bumps still remain, no one knows what they are... and they are starting to freak me out. like maybe i have west nile.. or that (this would be the worst thing ever) a spider possibly climbed in my bed and bit me three times. i would like die, and probably never sleep in my bed again. k thats all.. if any of you have ever had any weird bumps you can tell me about it and maybe we have the same thing.

other than that things have been good, i spent a good amount of time in bed doing whatever i want. im always ok with that.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

today felt like a juicy day

couture that is. the original scent. it also felt like a t shirt and toms day. so i did it. i am the worst decision maker, i could spend hours in the mall looking for a gift if im alone. i simply cannot decide--then i look insane cause i have come back to the same location like 6 times. the only time i can make a quick decision is when its awkward or uncomfortable not too. im weird about that type of stuff. look at me talk about myself... yuck.

anywho. no one i know should ever do donuts in a parking lot. because some kids from springville did it and now one of them might die. so like dont do that. especially you anna. seriously, no more times.

i stole this image from anna's blog, but like i cannot stop laughing about it. so here it is... its like the funniest thing i have ever seen. womens.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

oh em gee


neeeeeeeeed these

Monday, July 26, 2010

dreams

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

Langston Hughes

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

what phylum is a flea

when i was going to type the title of this post, things that had been typed previously popped up--this was the best one. hahaha. im on my work computer. best.

one time this blog place told me that i couldn't put any more pictures on here cause i was over my limit on picasa. what? there is so much room on cyber space. they think they can tell me to pay for it? yeah right. im going to get around it somehow. i haven't eaten meat in like two weeks. im no vegetarian... i love meat. i miss it. but i cant seem to put a hamburger patty in my mouth after being told there are pieces of more than one hundred cows in it. thank you food inc so anyways, until i forget what i heard and saw im not eating meat unless its from a trusted source. preferably whole foods, good earth, etc, etc.

saving money suuuuuuuuuucks. responsibility is not fun at all. ignorance and living in your parents house is happiness, i dont care what anyone says.

you know what is a good show? home alone. netflix is also one of the best things in my life--next to warner. hope everyone is having a happy tuesday. tuesdays are a pretty happy day.

ps. that up there was an exaggeration. i want to move out and be smart.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

jb justin bieber

so for the past four months warner has had his little sister emma on a point system. she would earn points given out by him by doing anything from taking his shoes off to cleaning her room. for a while there was no prize to be awarded, and emma just earned points on pure faith--i think that says a lot about her. BUT when she hit her first fifty she was awarded a poster of the beloved Justin Bieber. boy oh boy did she love that.
the bar had been set high for her next fifty point prize. but good old warner did not disappoint. after weeks of hard work earning points she was awarded with a ticket to the justin bieber concert! warner, emma, louisa and i all went and enjoyed his musical stylings. dont worry, we also made shirts.






Thursday, July 15, 2010

best facebook conversation i've ever had

Natalie

hi!

4:21pmMe

HEY

4:21pmNatalie

HOW R U?!!!!

4:22pmMe

SO GUD!

not rlly tho cuz im @ werk

Natalie

0o0o0o yah! u h8 werk! that suxxxx

@least u r a qt

4:23pmMe

lolz

how r u?

4:24pmNatalie

i g2g to werk 2day 2

itz 2 bad

4:25Ali

fml

4:26 Natalie

wull... i guez i g2g make sum noodlez

ttyl. g2g. ily. uraqt. wb

HAGS

4:27 Ali

lolz. invu4uraqt. gud talkin 2 u. <3

this is my 101th post. coooooooooool. :)


Monday, July 12, 2010

this is summer

brandi was probably the greatest concert. she is amazing live, so worth it.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

668

"Nature" is what we see—
The Hill—the Afternoon—
Squirrel—Eclipse—the Bumble bee—
Nay—Nature is Heaven—
Nature is what we hear—
The Bobolink—the Sea—
Thunder—the Cricket—
Nay—Nature is Harmony—
Nature is what we know—
Yet have no art to say—
So impotent Our Wisdom is
To her Simplicity.

-Emily Dickinson

that being said, i really would like to have a garden gnome in my garden. like i need one. i seriously think that would complete the essence of growing carrots, pumpkins (white and orange) and beans. a gnome. so cute.



Saturday, June 26, 2010

i love....

this boy. he seriously is the cream of the crop, my very best friend. i am so very thankful for this young mans presence in my life, im not sure what i would do without him. he is the funniest person, seriously though. one of his favorite jokes is, "what if my face looked like this?" (insert misshapen face here) then i laugh and say "i would still love you" or... "oh no, i forgot my wallet you're going to have to pay" he does that one just to see my same worried face over and over again. he puts up with and embraces my crazy tendencies... for example, driving the long way to everywhere, wanting to eat out ALWAYS, my obsession with lost, my need to show him the garden i planted and its progress three times a day. he is so handsome, see above photograph. he reads books. he is a spiritual giant, and is one of the most thoughtful people i know. he makes me happy. i am just very thankful for warner dean, and wanted to do a short "shout out". i love you boy.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

dad

dear dad, i like to call you phil. i have never called you daddy, i feel weird when people do that. you have taught me a lot of things. how to have a love for reading, current events, the importance of watching news, cooking without a recipe and keeping it simple, how tv can be a learning experience, and the real life importance of knowing trivia. i always loved when you would draw pictures of snakes and cats for me in sacrament meeting. my weird nature comes directly from you, i have always been appreciative of it. although sometimes i get impatient when you ask me the same question 16 times... i do love you. i look up to you and your knowledge. you are the most intelligent person i know, and you are not even a college graduate--that will always impress me. thank you for making me watch 60 minutes and the history channel all the time, i now have my own love for these channels, and learning. thank you for always pushing me to live up to my abilities, i have always been supported by you. i even remember when i was a young dancer and you saying that i was always the only one that remembered the dance. it probably wasnt true but the confidence instilled in me by you always stuck with me and helped me to develop my skills further. really i am just very grateful for such a great father and friend. i will always remember the nights we spent watching tv together, and the inside jokes that developed from it. i love you dad. happy day.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

read-a-thon

now that i actually like the way my blog looks i think ill post more things on it. maybe. ya never know.

sometimes people ask me about good books to read. i dont really know why, but here is a little list of some of the ones i have read and am looking to read this summer. so... just in case some of you want to like read or something--or start a book club (pleassse) then you can read some of these if you want. k.

huck finn. mark twain--i already suggested this so now its a double suggestion
everything is illuminated. johnathon safran foer--im going to read this very soon, and im really excited.
extremely loud and incredibly close. johnathon safran foer--my brother corbin told me to read this years ago, i did and it continues to boggle my mind.
perks of being a wallflower. stephan chbosky--all time favorite. im not guaranteeing its conservative, its about real life.
catcher in the rye. j.d. salinger--probably my second favorite. just soo good.
a seperate peace. john knowles--in the middle of this book, i couldnt put it down on a five hour drive until i got sick. recommended by warner.
lock and key. sara dessen--if you are the kind of person who needs a really girly read and a love story then read this. it will hit the spot for sure. any nicholas sparks book will suffice as well.
walden. henry david thoreau-- its a hard read but seriously funny. this man is crazy, and i love it so much.
water for elephants. sara gruen--i havent finished this one yet, im like 2/3 of the way through cause for some reason i took a break from it. but i have been thinking about it a lot lately and want to finish it. probably cause it is about the circus, and i went to a renaissance fair last weekend and i couldnt stop thinking about how crazy circus' and fairs are.
the motel life. willy vlautin--i randomly chose this book for one of my classes two semesters ago and it has turned out to be one of those books that i think back on quite often. thats when you know its a good book.


ok thats enough for now. i hope someone at least reads one of these. cause they are seriously good books, and they should be read.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

bears


favorite picture from a great weekend

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

best

last night this kid...
showed up at my door with this...
to be played on this...

i have the best boyfriend in the wooooorld. he bought it for us to share, even though i have been whining about wanting one and being annoying HE STILL GOT IT. luckiest girl. it sounds amazing, it's also a five in one so we can pretty much listen to music in any way possible. im a little obsessed...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

cup n cakes

see i'm already posting again, this is almost embarrassing. i made these cupcakes for my friend kiana's bridal shower a couple of weeks ago. her new last name is McAllister, thus the M inside the cookies. honestly... i do not reccomend this martha recreation--it took me and my friend ashley four hours of non stop cooking to finish these... it was quite the feat. anyways here are some pictures of the cupcakes, the bride and the guests.

king of kong

so my mom said to me yesterday "you haven't written on your blog in a while." i replied, "i have nothing to write." well that was a total lie... i have one million things to write--i just can't decide which things to write about. my mind has been consumed with nintendo games lately, warner has mario on the wii and we stayed up till 1:30 last night playing together. like i know how that happened. he also got the ooooold super nintendo donkey kong country and it time warped me back in time to my childhood. i got a little bit crazy though when i couldn't beat the stupid mine level, then when i finally did i died right after. that's when i realized i had to stop playing or things were going to get crazy.

i guess thats just all i have to say at this moment. i'll update more regularly... for you karla. and maybe i'll add photos next time. k bye.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

skeet

went with warner and his friends skeet shooting. i didn't hit any skeet, but i did get a good solid bruise on my shoulder. waaay fun and funny. here are some pictures and a vid. i couldn't help but scream every time.


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

daydreaming

i found my dream hammock today. i have been searching for years for a great hammock and i finally found one! i wont picture it here cause if one of you gets it before i do i might cry or do something crazy. but i will put it on once i purchase it... which i will do... after i get paid. haaa. i found a few other things i want to get too... like the breast cancer kobe V nike shoes, and some of the many duvet covers that Urban Outfitters has, but... im sorta embarrassed by my online shopping problem. hey, i don't have a credit card though so i guess its not that big of a problem right? please tell me it isn't. k anyways, just had to share. summer is the best cause it allows me to get things like hammocks and use them, i sure missed you.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

dear mom

it's mom's day, and i would like to say a few things about my dear mother. mom... you are patient, and i appreciate that greatly. i know i say that our family was raised on television, and though tv did teach me some very valuable life lessons... you taught me respect, diligence, kindness, and to be grateful for what i have been given. i have always felt loved--and i have never been neglected. you sat through the endlessly long dance competitions every single time, even if it was to only see me dance a few times... and watching all the other train wrecks on stage. never once did you complain or regret being there for me. i appreciate all the opportunities i have been given through you and dad, all the trips that were funded by you and fought for by you. thank you for the fundraisers you went to in my place because i was off doing some other lesson or competition. (i know the grease burns from grilling hamburgers at BYU halftimes will be with you forever, so really.. thanks) thank you for always encouraging me to continue my education, it was never a question whether i was going to go to college or not, because i saw my mother strive for an education and a career of her own. thank you for all the glasses of water you have gotten for me, and all of the meals you have cooked. thank you for cleaning my room and folding all my clothes because i dont believe in folding. mostly i am just thankful for you and the example you have always been to me and our entire family. love you mom, go to nordstrom and buy some good jeans.

Monday, May 3, 2010

werk

7 hours straight, no break, no lunch. i know, i know, people do it all the time. but im not used to it, and i think im going a little insane. i am having to break my days up into segments. every two hours i make myself get up and walk around... bathroom, fax stuff, print stuff, take post-its to the sample request folder. the first few hours really aren't that bad, the worst part is at 3 o clock. 2 hours left, everyone is gone and there are no calls. i have already been on facebook for way longer than i can handle, and twitter is beginning to look more and more appetizing. (worst website) this is the two hour time span when my online shopping addiction comes out with its sharpened claws and tears apart my wallet. anthropologie.....urban.....victorias secret(their swimsuit sale emails are SO convincing)....and the list goes on. this is also the time when i have already eaten the strawberries i brought and thought would be enough for me to get through the day with at 9:45 this morning. they weren't enough. i want real food. chicken fila preferably. oh well, instead i just look up recipes for food i will probably never cook. i guess i'll go pack some stuff now, or read... even though i get interrupted every two sentences cause i am incapable of reading with noise around. i just flicked my headset into my open eye. cooooooool.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

there is sunshine in my soul today


just thought i would post this... because outside is not sunny. and i need a reminder. kthanksbye.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

way back when

i miss the summers of my childhood--when you didn't want to sleep in cause you wanted to play all day, usually starting at 7 am. where you just walked next door and knocked on the door of your neighbors house to begin the summer festivities. where you could just go to 7 peaks for a couple hours everyday because you had a season pass. i miss the summer days when you never put on a pair of shoes and your feet were constantly black on the bottoms. i miss the days when it was acceptable to watch tv all day long, and still have time for night games with the kids around the neighborhood. i miss the days when steal the flag was on your mind constantly, thinking of different strategies to use in order to win. i miss the days when my skin didn't burn because i was in the sun for twenty minutes without sunscreen. i miss the days of sleeping in the backyard on the trampoline.



those days are gone... and this summer i'll be waking up everyday and working, like a normal human. i guess i'll just have to fit in all that summer stuff after 5. im up for the challenge.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

happiness

"Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep."
Willa Cather--My Antonia

Monday, April 19, 2010

reading rainbow

58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school.

please read a book, this scares me.... a lot. i suggest Huck Finn. I know you have probably already read it, and hated it in high school. But seriously, its so good. Just trust me and do it. kthanksbye.

i wish everyone still sang like this..

Monday, April 12, 2010

gamer

this is a little embarrassing for me to admit... who am i kidding i dont really care, i have spent hours on end playing games on my i touch the last few weeks. apparently i have an addiction to strategy games no one told me about. these are my favorites...

sally spa is easily my favorite. you pretty much just daydream that it is you getting all the treatments in the spa when in reality you are playing as the worker that does every single thing and you are barely getting paid enough to keep your spa running. being a small business owner is rough. i highly recommend this game.

then there is diner dash, its a lot like sally spa but the girl isnt as cute. "flo" has some sort of eye issue. anyways, this is what kept me happy after i beat sally spa.


last but not least there is angry birds. you definitely shoot birds into those pig looking green characters. the birds are angry because the green things stole their eggs. the app told me that its really popular in europe. haaa. anyways, it was pretty fun too.
dear friends. you havent seen me in a while cause of these games, so i thought i would introduce you to them. i have it in my mind that i need to stay home so i can do homework... then i end up playing these for 6 hours. yeah i know. sorry.

also, i know i said i wasnt embarrassed but i might be... i havent decided. well. see ya later.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

i couldn't resist

somehow i'm on a blogging rampage... anyways, i am in the midst of writing a research paper for the end of the semester, thus i have been researching for hours. i feel the need to share what i have found with the blogging community.

i will refrain from going into what im writing about exactly, but lets just say i have been more than entertained this evening. hahahahaaaaa.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

hippity hop

ATTN: I GOT TO DYE EASTER EGGS!!
i have been so sad every year since i was 7 that i havent dyed easter eggs. for some reason it seriously is one of my favorite things to do... just... is. good thing i have a really nice boyfriend that was willing to dye them with me, and even drove me to maceys while he was on a heavy dose of benadryl (i made him be by my cat) cute.


nice nice nice, yay yay yay. easter eggs! happy easter you guys.

sin city

i went to vegas a few weeks ago. it was really fun. they say pictures say a thousand words... so here ya go.


we seriously lived in these things. if it werent for the bellagio crest on the chest i would have taken it home. i would have felt guilty every time i wore it if i saw the that crest... all morality aside, the bellagio was too kind to us to steal from.

ohh yeah. that was just the pool. so awesome.
weirdest show ever. it was worth it to see the cirque part though.



this may have been the very best part. anyways, it was fun--thank you bellagio for your graciousness and nightly chocolates on our pillows with wind down music. the only way to do vegas.

Friday, March 26, 2010

just read...

"Things You Should Know" by A.M. Homes

There are things I do not know. I was absent the day they passed out the information sheets. I was home in bed with a fever and an earache. I lay with the heating pad pressed to my head, burning my ear. I lay with the heating pad until my mother came in and said, “Don’t keep it on high or you’ll burn yourself.” This was something I knew but chose to forget.

The information sheets had the words “Things You Should Know” typed across the top of the page. They were mimeographed pages, purple ink on white paper. The sheets were written by my fourth grade teacher. They were written when she was young and thought about things. She thought of a language for these things and wrote them down in red Magic Marker.

By the time she was my teacher, she’d been teaching for a very long time but had never gotten past fourth grade. She hadn’t done anything since her Things You Should Know sheets, which didn’t really count, since she’d written them while she was a student.

After my ear got better, the infection cured, the red burn mark faded into a sort of Florida tan, I went back to school. Right away I knew I’d missed something important. “Ask the other students to fill you in on what happened while you were ill,” the principal said when I handed her the note from my mother. But none of the others would talk to me. Immediately I knew this was because they’d gotten the information sheets and we no longer spoke the same language.

I tried asking the teacher, “Is there anything I missed while I was out?” She handed me a stack of maps to color in and some math problems. “You should put a little Vaseline on your ear,” she said. “It’ll keep it from peeling.”

“Is there anything else?” I asked. She shook her head.

I couldn’t just come out and say it. I couldn’t say, you know, those information sheets, the ones you passed out the other day while I was home burning my ear. Do you have an extra copy? I couldn’t ask because I’d already asked everyone. I asked so many people ̶ my parents, their friends, random strangers ̶ that in the end they sent me to a psychiatrist.

“What exactly do you think is written on this ‘Things You Should Know’ paper?” he asked me.

“ ‘Things You Should Know,’ “ I said. “It’s not things to know, not things you will learn, but things you already should know but maybe are a little dumb, so you don’t.”

“Yes,” he said nodding. “And what are those things?”

“You’re asking me,” I shouted. “I don’t know. You’re the one who should know. You tell me. I never saw the list.”

Time passed. I grew up. I grew older. I grew deaf in one ear. In the newspaper I read that the teacher had died. She was eighty-four. In time I began to notice there was less to know. All the same, I kept looking for the list. Once, in an old bookstore, I thought I found page four. It was old, faded, folded into quarters and stuffed into an early volume of Henry Miller’s essays. The top part of the page had been torn off. It began with number six: “Do what you will because you will anyway.” Number twenty-eight was “If you begin and it is not the beginning, begin again.” And so on. At the bottom of the page it said, “Chin San Fortune Company lines 1-32.”

Years later, when I was even older, when those younger than me seemed to know less than I ever had, I wrote a story. And in a room full of people, full of people who knew the list and some I was sure did not, I stood to read. “As a child, I burned my ear into a Florida tan.”

“Stop,” a man yelled, waving his hands at me.

“Why?”

“Don’t you know?” he said. I shook my head. He was a man who knew the list, who probably had his own personal copy. He had based his life on it, on trying to explain it to others.

He spoke, he drew diagrams, splintering poles of chalk as he put pictures on a blackboard. He tried to tell of the things he knew. He tried to talk but did not have the language of the teacher.

I breathed deeply and thought of Chin San number twenty-eight. “If you begin and it is not the beginning, begin again.”

“I will begin again,” I announced. Because I had stated this and not asked for a second change, because I was standing and he was seated, because it was till early in the evening, the man who had stopped me nodded, all right.

“Things You Should Know,” I said.

“Good title, good title,” the man said. “Go on, go on.”

“There is a list,” I said, nearing the end. “It is a list you make yourself. And at the top of the page you write, ‘Things You Should Know.’ ”


This comes from a book titled Flash Fiction Forward, a compilation of 80 really short stories. I suggest it to anyone who likes a short, yet deep read, whenever. So many life lessons..

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

gosh

i seriously hate it when people dont post for a long time.. and you keep checking to see if they did--and your heart gets broken a little every time you check it and see its the same title you already read six times. sorry guys.. for those of you that do read this.


things have been too great. thats all i can even say. happy happy happy, and im just wishing i was not at work right now.. and that i was outside flying a kite. preferably one with dora the explorer, or aladdin on it. that would be best. too bad i cant.


so glad to have my best friend back, he is doing well in case you were wondering. and just as funny as ever. picture less blog... not exactly aesthetically pleasing. ok ok ill throw one in.


happy tuesday